Living on borrowed time (part 1)
by Christie Browning“Beware of the barrenness of an overcrowded life.” – Anonymous
A lie we’ve all bought into is the belief that we can cram 30 hours worth of things to do in a 24-hour period. That’s what I like to call “living on borrowed time.” And it is the best way to create frustration and stress in your life.
The actual question we should be asking is not how do we find more time, but rather, how do we use our time in a way that is effective and not stressful? Choosing to over-book your daily schedule is a bad habit, but not without solutions.
When we choose to live as if there are 30 hours in the day, there are some real symptoms that manifest in our lives. It becomes like an illness that eats away at the very heart of us as women. Let’s look at the five side-effects of living on borrowed time.
Side-effect #1: No mental down time
When we push ourselves to cram so much into so little, there becomes no time for downtime. Our minds are not allowed to rest. We are constantly engaged. With every ding, beep and ring of our smart phones, we are instantaneously linked with our social media, our email, our text messaging, our businesses, our bank account and more. The result is we don’t know how to stop, be still and silence our minds. We feel as if we must constantly be on the go, be connected and be accessible.
Side-effect #2: No forgiveness for our efforts
We can’t get it all done. When we are trying to tackle too much, we fall short and begin doubting our abilities, our motives, our self. We tell ourselves we are not capable, and we measure ourselves against the mom, the wife, the business woman who we think can do no wrong. What becomes our solution to that shortcoming? Many times the answer is to do more. A viscous cycle starts to spin out of control as we jump from thing to another, finding the things that make us feel good about ourselves and our efforts. Once we can’t juggle all the balls, we beat ourselves us for it and look for the next thing to add to the to-do list, and the cycle begins again.
Side-effect #3: We settle
As the cycle continues to circle around our efforts, our failure and then our self deprecation, we begin to think this is just how life functions. We become comfortable in our stress, in our ragged emotional and mental state. We believe the lie that this is what life is and we have to deal with it. We believe we are the ones to change, not our schedules or our belief systems. We settle for the hurried, frantic, sporadic life we are living without any regard to the abundant life God said he wanted for us.
Side-effect #4: We’re robbed
Nasty self talk, negative emotions and unrealistic expectations rob us of our peace and joy in life. We are left feeling empty, drained and exhausted. In this sickness that we operate out of, there is no fulfillment. We lose our identity, our goals and our dreams. We choose to live from one appointment to another, wearing a million different hats that are not truly suited for our unique heads. We try to be all things to all people, and in the middle, we have lost the ability to know what we want.
Side-effect #6: We can’t connect
When our schedules become so full that we are sprinting from one thing to the next, we don’t have time to notice anyone around us. It becomes impossible for us to connect with others who might be hurting, lonely or depressed. We can’t connect with ourselves, missing out on discovering how we feel or think in a situation. We can’t connect with God because time is so precious, who’s got the extra minutes in the day for prayer and Bible reading? If life is really about the people in it and not just the days you can cross off the calendar, then connections are incredibly crucial to that feeling of worth, belonging and self esteem. Losing connections means we lose a piece of what makes who we are.
Although there are many side-effects when you choose to live on borrowed time, there are solutions that can counteract (we’ll go over that in part 2). The solutions are very simple. However, I must warn you….it may mean changing your perspective and embracing a radical set of concepts that are like nothing anyone you know is operating from.
Christie Browning is a writer, speaker and business coach. She owns reVision which exists to encourage, empower and inspire women. Learn more about reVision at www.revisionforwomen.com
What’s love got to do with it?
by Cyndi TurnpaughDo you remember the popular Tina Turner song, “What’s Love Got To Do With It?” She sings — “who needs a heart when a heart can be broken?” To the casual music lover, this song is just an oldie but goodie, but many of us have chosen to live a life with Tina’s attitude:
Who needs love when it can mean hurt, pain, disappointment?
No matter what your relationship status might be, love is missing in many of our lives….loving ourselves. We’ve forgotten to love the very body, the very soul, the very specific creation that we are. I’ve asked myself the same question… What’s love got to do with it?
At some point I had a moment of realization. I realized it isn’t enough to exercise, it isn’t enough to eat healthy diet, it isn’t enough to build myself spiritually. What it takes is bringing them all together as I lovingly care for myself. It has to be done out of a place of loving myself as I love my neighbor. I was loving my neighbor without ever considering myself.
I learned to stop and think of how I truly felt. If I really wanted to say “yes” to this person or I just didn’t want to hurt their feelings. Maybe I felt obligated. I learned that saying “yes” to me and my needs was putting me in a position to serve others better. Not out of duty, obligation or fear, but out of love and truth.
What I know now is that when I fail to do what I was created to do I am teaching my children to fail to do what they are created to do. That pattern means they learn that love has nothing to do with it. Choosing to love myself is an example I want to set. Because when I love myself, I am better equipped to love others.
To take Tina’s words and put them into a more every-day question — If I don’t care for myself enough to put the right foods into my body, to strive for a healthy, happy, long life then who will?
So, remember… Cyndi said —
to love yourself!
Take time for yourself… body, mind and spirit!
Love has a lot to do with it… Cyndi said!
